Wild Hogs
Cardboard on motorcycles.
Review by Sr. Guapo

"Wild Hogs" is a movie about Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, John Travolta and William H. Macy taking their motorcycles on a road trip to escape the grim reality of their fading film careers. At least, it might as well be. Most of us have seen each of these actors in other motion pictures superior to this one. We've come to love their portrayal of other protagonists and that's why the lack of character here is so perplexing and at times damning. If not for the names attached and a surprising number of genuine laughs, this movie would be a huge disappointment. Instead, it comes through as the sort of movie most will find reasonably enjoyable but ultimately quite forgettable.

Tim Allen plays Doug Madsen, a dentist who tries to kid himself and others into believing that he's a 'real' doctor when the closest his day comes to excitement is a mishap with a saliva sucker. His son would rather play ball with his friend's dad and his wife is supportive but patronizing (Jill Hennessy in one of the least interesting roles of her career).

As Doug comes to grips with his growing dissatisfaction over middle age's departure from the glory days, the biker friends he meets with each week (a group that collectively knows itself as the 'Wild Hogs') share similar moments. Woody Stevens (John Travolta) has just lost his wife and is broke enough now that he has to sell his home. He proposes that they do more with their bikes than just crash through signs. He envisions a grand road trip to the Pacific Coast. Bobby Davis (Martin Lawrence), the henpecked plumber, reluctantly agrees. So does Dudley Frank (William H. Macy), and with that they meet up one morning to begin their adventure-packed road trip.

The movie's first half-hour is actually pretty funny. Aside from an unfortunate scene where Tim Allen's character freaks out at the dinner table, laughs flow naturally and as a viewer, it's easy to get a feel for why these characters would escape the joke their lives have become. Yet as things progress, it becomes apparent that the real joke is on the protagonists. There aren't really many moments where they ring true, because each scene is orchestrated to solicit laughs. They are characterized by blunders, not moments of genuine depth. That wouldn't be so bad, except that this is a character-driven comedy.

Viewers are expected to care for each character, as is made evident by a conclusion that satisfactorily winds up any loose ends with surprising skill, yet because they've so often been the source of giggles they just feel like cardboard cutouts compared to the other heroes these actors have portrayed. The director also can't quite decide who to focus on, so the movie is a collection of sequences where one actor steals the scene from another, over and over again. Even cameo appearances get as many laughs as the movie's main thread, like when Kyle Gass croons far too many pop singles or when John C. McGinley (television's "Scrubs") tries to stir up a little nude Marco Polo.

The fragmented sense of direction gains a more cohesive vehicle halfway through in the form of a 'real' biker gang headed by a grizzled Ray Liotta. What at first looks like just one more in a series of misadventures doesn't fade out of the limelight nearly as quickly as would have been preferable. The remainder of the movie focuses on the characters resolving their internal issues while facing off against Harley-riding thugs. In essence, it becomes boring. Laughs don't come nearly as frequently as before. You'll still want to stick around for the closing credits (one of the funniest and most unexpected moments the whole movie offers), but you might not feel good about the money you forked over for popcorn and candy. Save yourself some green and wait for the DVD.

Final Score: 3/5