Ultimate Duck Hunting
Platform: Wii
Do not buy this game. Avoid eye contact with it. If you do happen to see it on the shelf, do mankind a favor and hide it from view.
Preview by Leonhart

If you are a Wii owner, there’s a good chance that you’ve thought about how awesome a Duck Hunt remake would be for the Wii. Sure, there’s the Duck Hunt-esque minigame in the Wii Play compilation, but it’s just not the same; especially with the dog missing and overall monotonous gameplay. Someone has heard your pleas! Mid Carolina Media (known for...well, nothing) is porting Ultimate Duck Hunting - promised to be the most realistic duck hunting simulation ever created - from the PC to the Wii on August 28th. Could this be what Duck Hunt fans have been waiting for? In short: NO.

Do not buy this game. Avoid eye contact with it. If you do happen to see it on the shelf, do mankind a favor and hide it from view (preferably in the bathroom toilets with the other pieces of crap). If a store employee recommends it, suggest that they see a priest because they are probably demon possessed. Since this is a preview, I suppose I should talk about the game a little. Basically, you choose a dog (select from three different colors of the same breed), train it (by pressing various buttons for two minutes), then head out and hunt. The ducks swarm in like bees constantly; there is no skill involved in any way: just shoot - you won’t miss unless you turn your gun to the opposite direction, which wouldn’t be too bad of an idea since that’s where the hunter’s head is.

After slaughtering a duck, you can send your dog out to fetch it. But there’s a catch: your dogs are mentally handicapped! No matter how often you point out the location of the duck, you have about a 10% chance of your dog actually finding it. Most times he’ll just tire and stand in one spot, staring at you. The graphics? Well, I guess they would be passable if the grass and weeds didn’t clip through the dogs and hunters constantly, the gun didn’t lose some of its polygons every time you look down your sight, and the ducks didn’t look like a total of four pixels.

I’ve gone on too long. This game doesn’t deserve this much attention, let alone a preview dedicated to it. I just wanted to warn everyone - no matter how much of a hunting game fan you are, and no matter how much you desire to play Duck Hunt on the Wii, avoid this game as if your life depends on it.