Film: Snakes on a Plane
Genre: Horror/Thriller/Snakes on Planes
Release Date: August 18th, 2006
Distributor: New Line
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hrs. 46 min.
Review by Dack

Starring:
Samuel L. Jackson
Nathan Phillips
Julianna Margulies
Rachel Blanchard

Snakes...On a Plane. Do I need to say anymore?

Just one thing! Snakes on a Plane was well worth the wait, well worth talking about it, and the coolest movie experience of Summer '06! Sure, the acting wasn't amazing, even though it was very impressive for a horror movie, and sure the special effects weren't amazing, but this movie was pure fun. From the feel good Hawaiian style opening, to a snake biting a man's Dicky doodle off, I was smiling, pumped with adrenaline, and laughing and cheering along with everyone else.

Snakes on a Plane is about Snakes on a Plane. A regular guy witnesses a gruesome murder, and now has to testify at the trial of the Asian mob boss that did it. About 2 hours into the flight, carton's blow up, allowing hundreds of snakes to roam around as the please. Now, with no where to run, Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) has to fight the snakes. And believe me, he has had it with those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane.

I'd love to go into details on the many, many gruesome snake bites, but I want our readers to go in to Snakes on a Plane fresh. I could pick at this movie for a few reasons, however, this movie was so fun and entertaining (So much more then Pirates of the Carribean 2), I don't want to say one thing against it. In the theatre I saw it in, all of the theatre goers sung along to the Cobra Starship music video in the credits.

I wish they would name all major movies like this, we could have; "Pirates on a Boat", "Jason Statham Kicks Ass", or "Tom Hanks is Desperate for Money". In closing, if you want to have a great time, have been looking forward to Snakes, or don't hate America, do your self a favor, and see Snakes on a Plane. You won't be disappointed.

Dack's Rating: 5/5 Stars

2nd Opinion by Kiwi:

Before I start this review, I want to get one thing out in the open: for full enjoyment, Snakes on a Plane is a movie that you should not expect anything spectacular out of. I'm not saying it's bad, but just don't walk in expecting an Oscar contender or anything. If you expect to be blown away by top-notch dialogue and special effects, you will be sorely dissappointed. I mean, really. It's a movie called Snakes on a Plane. If that's not a B-movie title, I don't know what is. Eight Legged Freaks, perhaps?

Anyways, with that out of the way, I will say what Snakes on a Plane really is: One hell of a good time. There's snakes, there's a plane, there's Samuel L. Jackson, and there's a lot of deaths, some funny and some kinda gruesome. The story is that some kid witnesses a murder, Sam Jackson's character saves him, they need to fly to LA to testify against him, and on the flight, they try to bring the plane down by killing everyone on it by using poisonous snakes that are being hostile to everything from a pheromone reaction (basically snakes on crack). It's a useless storyline, and a simple excuse to have snakes kill people in odd ways, including two people killed while having sex in a lavatory, a man getting his eye eaten out, and a boa constrictor eating a dog (honestly, one of the funnier scenes in the film) and then crushing and eating the man who threw it.

There is, for the most part, no character development at all. You meet some people, you meet people who care about other people, those people have their horribly-acted dramatic moments when friends die from taking two bites to the neck, and throughout the whole flim you really learn nothing about anyone banding together besides that Keenan Thompson's character is a video game freak and Samuel L. Jackson's character was divorced once, not that it matters later. But then again, who cares about this? You don't need character development for this kind of movie.

My summer had me see Pirates of the Carribean 2, Superman Returns, Talledaga Nights, and Snakes on a Plane. While Superman and Pirates were better than Snakes, there's no doubt for me that I was more entertained and enjoyed myself more often when I saw this. It totally lacked anything save for deaths, panic, and Samuel L. Jackson playing hero. While I do think that it could've been better perhaps if a few things were changed, although I can't think of what those things could be, it's one of the more entertaining movies I've seen this year. Walk into a theater expecting a good time and nothing else, and you'll walk out of that theater feeling fufilled. Snakes on a Plane isn't at all plausible in a real life situation, and it's not anything over-the-top by any stretch of imagination. But that's not what it's trying to be. It's just there to be a good time. And that's what it succeeds at: being a good time.

Kiwi's Rating: 4.5/5 Stars

3rd Opinion by Thecoojo:

Holy fucking shit a snake bit the guy's dick!!!!

Yes, that will be your reaction when you see that scene. But, if you think that Snakes on a Plane is just that, a movie that just delivers cheap thrills, you are wrong. Surprisingly, Snakes on a Plane is a great action feature that holds its own in the current market of high budget action films. Its got great acting, along with scares and action. It delivers some funny, and semi-ironic scenes as well. Samuel L. Jackson delivers a great performance with his cool yet very serious nature. And seriously, who doesn't like him, nobody, that's the answer.

And to you nay-sayers who insist and ruining the movie by insulting the CGI, you are wrong, it may not be the quality of Pirates of the Caribbean but they did damn well, the snakes are believable looking and besides the general snake movements the team seamed to add a certain deadly personality to them. And then this brings me to my next point. the hot women in the movie, well, lets just say Dack had a good time. Yes, for those of you with children, there is nudity and sexual content, but this is necessary to deliver one of the best snake bite scenes in the movie, but i won't tell you, you have to see it for yourself.

Overall I liked the movie, it did a good job of giving out some scares, surprises, and a comedic line here and there. Infact, I would put it on my "must see" list for all you nerds out there and even for you normal people out there. But if you are normal you probably wont be reading this review anyways. Thecoojo has spoken.

Thecoojo's Rating: 4.5/5 Stars

Final Rating (Rounded up): 5/5 Stars