Pirate Master: Episode 8
"Dammit, John."
Review by Kiwi

Seriously, why are more people watching Big Brother than this? What can viewers be doing after Big Brother is over? It's right after Big Brother, folks! If you watch that, you don't even need to change the channel! I'll even save the snarky remarks about the fact that you watch Big Brother!

With that rant out of the way, let me say that this is one of the better, if not the best, episode of Pirate Master thus far. While lacking the environment that most of the older episodes had, the entertainment value made up for it. First, the expedition brought in a twist: Instead of the red vs. black format of the usual expeditions, it was pirates vs. ghosts, with the ghosts being the seven former pirates that were cut adrift. In addition to the run being winner-take-all, if the ghosts won, there would be no captain for the week and the ghosts would get to pick the three players up for the black spot. Very cool, except that the ghosts didn't win. Dissapointing, but not without humor: John, the idiot pirate cut adrift from episode one, dropped the key to the treasure chest in a river. So, while the pirates went the wrong way and had to get their headings, the ghost team was stuck going neck-deep in a river searching for a key. A short time later, the pirates found the $50,000 haul and the ghost pirates could almost all be heard thinking "Dammit, John."

Another highlight of the episode was all of the crew members planning for mutiny against the still-Captain Azmyth, including getting his officers, Ben and Jay, onboard with the plan. Oh, right, and Jupiter's screwing it up by casually telling Azmyth that they're all thinking of mutiny over lunch in the galley... in front of everyone. Again, tragic for the plans of the pirates, and hilarious for the viewers at home. However, the episode gets docked for realism points here: Dack and I both agreed that if it were a real pirate ship, she would have been cut adrift immediately for saying something like that. Unfortunately, this didn't happen, and instead the game went on as planned. After a fairly boring and expected black spot meeting, Jupiter, Kendra, and Laurel were all put up for the court that evening.

So, for the rest of the afternoon, the rest of the pirates once again tried to rally up a mutiny... where it apparently didn't work at all. As each of the marked pirates defended themselves, Jupiter once again screwed up and, being totally oblivious to the concept that this is a pirate ship and not an office building with a union, first defended her decision to say that out loud, and then reminded Azmyth that it's 'cause she "always had his back, and she would never mutiny against him." All this, of course, in earshot of every one of the pirates. The usual shots of the voters' reactions were taken, and the vote was unanimous: Jupiter got cut adrift. Really, though, it serves her right... plus, it was funny as hell to watch her constantly slip up on this episode. Alas, she will be missed.

And you people say that Big Brother's more entertainment. Do people in Big Brother get to buy each other off? No. Do they get to dress up as pirates, row boats, and sabotage each other? No. Do they get to promise their word to varying people on who they'll vote out, and then take it back and get hated by everyone? Err, wait...

Final Score: 8/10