Halloween (2007)
Soulless remake that is an insult to the original’s quality.
Review by Sirus

Rob Zombie has made a few strange movies that have a small following but ultimately disappoint. Halloween is based on the original John Carpenter movie and certain themes are repeated such that fans will smile when some of the famous quotes are repeated. Sadly, that’s one of the only times audiences will smile watching this movie. The story follows a boy named Michael Myers, a disturbed little boy who kills three family members on Halloween night. This act gets Michael put into a mental institution for the rest of his life where he spends most of his time making masks out of paper plates. For the last fifteen years of his stay he doesn’t speak a word to anyone. When he is supposed to be transferred somewhere else, Michael kills the guards and escapes. He makes his way back to the town where he grew up to find his little sister and kill some people along the way.

I can’t really knock a horror movie for having a story that isn’t very interesting but Halloween fails to have any real sort of atmosphere or buildup. The beginning of the movie is specifically boring with Zombie’s ultra crude humor spewing out of every other scene. I spent the first half of the movie shaking my head in disappointment and the second half horribly bored and wishing for the movie to end. Neither actor who plays Michael, young nor old, is all that good but they hardly spend any time on screen when they aren’t wearing a mask. The only thing keeping the movie from being a complete failure is the gore that is splattered about but even that wasn’t particularly satisfying. I find nothing wrong with remakes in principle if they are done correctly. Zombie’s remake of Halloween attempts to add extra scenes to build on the characters but ends up making a soulless remake that is an insult to the original’s quality. I didn’t enjoy anything about Halloween and wouldn’t recommend the movie to anyone.

Final Score: 1/5